{"id":199,"date":"2022-02-22T13:29:47","date_gmt":"2022-02-22T13:29:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/?page_id=199"},"modified":"2022-06-29T15:39:12","modified_gmt":"2022-06-29T15:39:12","slug":"monster-under-the-bed","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/?page_id=199","title":{"rendered":"Monster Under the Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

When I was nine years old, a monster lived under my bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a normal phenomenon. Most kids, at some point, find themselves afraid of something in their rooms. Trees and streetlights combine to make eerie shadows on the wall. Clothes hanging over chairs take on a menacing appearance. The sounds of your house settling and creaking turn into ominous groans and wails.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You call out to your parents and when they come; they reassure you that there is nothing there. There are no monsters under the bed. No bad guys trying to break in. The closet is devoid of ghosts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My father explained to me that monsters did not exist. There was nothing to fear. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I told him I was okay now, that I wasn\u2019t afraid anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was lying, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a monster under my bed, no matter what my father said. And I was still afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started drawing the monster in art class in school and doodling it everywhere. Every piece of art I did at school had the monster in it. When I finished my English or math worksheet before time was up, I\u2019d draw the monster on the back of my paper. I drew him in pencil and in crayon and in water colors. Sometimes, he was small, standing on my shoulder, whispering into my ear. Other times, I drew him large, sitting on one end of the seesaw, with me on the other end, unable to get down. Once I drew him sitting on top of the school bus, too big to fit inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The teacher called my parents, and there was a meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One night, soon after the meeting, my mother came into my room with a spray bottle labeled \u201cMonster Repellent.\u201d She sprayed it into the closet, under the bed and all around my room. The monster repellent smelled like lavender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere!\u201d she said. \u201cThat should take care of any monsters.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She came in every night for weeks, spraying the room for monsters, until my father got annoyed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow is that supposed to help?\u201d he asked my mother. \u201cYou\u2019re just playing into her delusion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, it helps. She is much calmer at bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That night, I told my mother that she needn\u2019t use the spray. I knew it was just lavender water. I told her I wasn\u2019t afraid anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wasn\u2019t really lying. I was less afraid, but still concerned. The monster was there. It didn\u2019t seem to want to hurt me, but it didn\u2019t want to go away, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During summer vacation, between third and fourth grade, I spent three weeks at my grandmother\u2019s house while my parents went to Europe on vacation. I wondered if the monster would follow me or if he lived only under my bed at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The very first afternoon at Grandma\u2019s, there was a thunderstorm, so we stayed inside and baked cookies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She asked me about the monster. Not about why I imagined the monster or why I was afraid to go to sleep or all the other questions my parents and my teacher and the school counselor asked. Grandma asked about the monster himself. Is it he or she or it? Did he talk? What did his voice sound like? Why do you draw him in different colors, sometimes purple, sometimes yellow or green? It was the first time anyone had ever been interested in the monster as a separate entity. Grandma talked about the monster as if he wasn\u2019t my imagination or my problem or my fear. The monster was as real to Grandma as he was to me, and she wanted to know all about him. I answered as many of her questions as I could. When she\u2019d ask a question that I didn\u2019t know the answer to, she\u2019d say, \u201cMaybe you should ask him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During those three weeks at Grandma\u2019s, we spent the days cooking and baking, swimming and bike riding, playing board games and drinking lemonade. At night, I\u2019d talk to the monster, asking him questions that Grandma and I had thought up during the day. I\u2019d report the answers to her the next day, and we\u2019d think up more questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The monster wasn\u2019t bad, just lonely, like me. He wanted to help me. He wanted me to know he\u2019d always be there for me and he promised he wouldn\u2019t lurk under the bed anymore, but he\u2019d come when I called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My parents think I outgrew the monster that summer. Perhaps the change of scenery at Grandma\u2019s fixed the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I didn\u2019t outgrow him. He\u2019s still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t call him a monster anymore. He\u2019s my muse. There is a stool in the corner of my studio for him, and I call him when I need him. If I\u2019m having a tough time with a painting or a sculpture, I know that if I turn around, he\u2019ll be there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I wonder: If my parents had got rid of the monster, would I even be an artist at all?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a9 2021 Liza Cameron Wasser<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was nine years old, a monster lived under my bed. This is a normal phenomenon. Most kids, at some point, find themselves afraid of something in their rooms. Trees and streetlights combine to make eerie shadows on the wall. Clothes hanging over chairs … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-199","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/199","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=199"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":354,"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/199\/revisions\/354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lizacameronwasser.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}